The Worm

Once upon a time, I was a summer insomniac, meaning, I was only an insomniac during the summer. (My mom made me go to bed during the school year.) I would stay up all night writing stories on the computer. And I found my best work always came out of the hours between midnight and 3am. Since at the current moment it is summer, (well, practically, schools out) and it’s 1:15 in the morning, I thought I’d give it another shot, and see what I can come up with.

I am about to reveal to you one of my biggest, most shameful and vulnerable moments. (Man, this midnight writing thing is pretty dangerous.)

I once ate a worm to impress a boy.

No, I was not a child, I was 16, and he was REALLY cute, and he dared me. (We had a weird friendship.) He didn’t think I would do it, and while I may only bear a shadow of the competitive spirit I once shod upon the world, I used to be quite the spunky individual. So we made a deal; if I ate the worm, he had to watch Kate and Leopold with me, and learn from the chivalry of one Hugh Jackman. We spit and shook, (I know, real classy) and I picked up the little fisherman’s cup filled with my decided appetizer.

I looked down at the worms; back up at his stinking adorable little smirk, than put my focus back on my challenge. My trembling fingers dug into the cup and I squealed as they brushed against the slime. I heard him snicker, so confident I wouldn’t accomplish what I’d set out to do. Courage rose inside of me and I boldly picked a worm out of it’s carrier. I took one last look at the oh so Cute Boy, had one hesitating thought of, “is he really worth this?” than took one last deep breath as I dropped the noodle like creature into my mouth and sucked it down like spaghetti.

Loud cries of shock filled my ears as I reached for a near by water bottle and chugged it down. After I released all the tension in my face, replacing it with a look of triumph, Cute Boy reached up and gave me a high five.

Yes… I had won his heart.

Later, as I relayed the story to my mother, (who heard almost all the Cute Boy stories) she gently informed me that eating a worm is really not the best way to attract a man. In fact, I probably had ended up doing the exact opposite, and disgusted him for all eternity. I was greatly alarmed at her words, and quickly sought out Cute Boy to explain to him that I wasn’t the kind of girl that just went around eating worms and other such creeping, crawling things of the earth, as the Bible so pointedly states, and that I really was a feminine, classy girl. Apparently he agreed, or just really thought the worm thing was cool, because he ended up being my boyfriend.

HA! Take that charm school etiquette!

Aww, the strange effect cute boys have on high school girls.

So there you go, a hidden secret from the Shame File of the life of Jael. I know you must think I’m weird, but the truth is, I’m actually pretty awesome. And high school, while being a season much like being in prison, holds many of my fondest memories, where friends, drama class and cute boys were the focal center of my every concern, and the driving force that made me that annoying kid that was always jumping off the walls.

Ok, that’s not entirely true, (the focal center part. The worm thing is indeed, fact.) I was for sure a high school girl, but I really did love the Lord, a lot. Even in the midst of teenage-hood, He really was my all.

The End.