Miss. Jael Goes to Hollywood!

This is a true story about a girl named Miss. Jael who went with her friend Miss. Janet, and her cousin Jason on a quest to find the "Real Hollywood Sign." It's a story filled with adventure, laughter, danger, romance and crazy afros.

It took many hours to arrive at the place they'd heard the "Real Hollywood Sign" existed. Nothing was certain, but they had to start some where. The mission was embedded deep within their souls, and nothing could stop them! The journey to the rumored location was long and tedious, but upon arrival, they were immediately met with danger!

Out of no where, an Elvis impersonator jumped out of the bushes and captured Janet!



He thought he had her locked up in his death grip headlock, but little did he know, Janet and Jason were endowed with mad ninja skills, and working together, they freed her from his grasp!



Needless to say, they got away quick and easy, Miss. Jael following closely behind as the rear gaurd, keeping an eye out for any other attackers that might be persuing them.


It wasn't long before they were once again met by a foe, only this enemy existed with such great stature, he needed more than a bush to conceal his true identity.
Like a lion hiding in the brush waiting for the perfect moment to pounce his pray, a REAL LIVE T-REX jumped out from behind a building, a clock crushing between his teeth, an efficient form of intimidation. What Rex didn't know of course, was that we had our own death stare...

I hate to brag, but "lips" works every time! The poor creature didn't stand a chance.

He turned and fled the scene in great torment. We were a little concerned for his well being after such a traumatic experience, but then we remembered we had bigger fish to fry that our scaly opponent.

After some time of walking, always weary of surrounding strangers, they came upon a giant temple, which looked pretty suspicious. What choice did they have? If the "Real Hollywood Sign" was anywhere in this strange town, it would surely be through this massive entrance covered in aincient pictures we couldn't quite comprehend.



Upon entering they came upon a man with an interesting physical deformity. The three thought at first that he was another attacker, and braced theirselves in case the encounter would once again result in battle, but the unlikely stranger sat motionless. He was so still, it was almost as if he were wax, but than a voice rang in their minds. It was deep, old and soothing. We felt as if we were in the presence of royalty. They stood as still as possible as instructions sounded in their heads.

"Behold, I am the man who sees in twos. I am the man who's vision expands far beyond any other mortal. I know what you seek, and it lies behind these walls. But, to pass you must pass a great challenge. None have prevailed before, and your chances are slim. Turn back now, for if you fail, you will surely fall into a great abyss, never to return!"

Failure of course, was not an option, and the quest burned within thier skin. They had to face the challenge. There was no other choice.

"We will accept your challenge." Miss. Janet said bravely.

They thought they saw a faint glimmer of a smile appear on the man's face, but there was no way to know for sure. He continued to sit as a statue.

Suddenly there was a great rumbling. The ground shook beneath their feet, and above them dropped some sort of large screen from the ceiling. On it were words they all knew well.

"The challenge," rang the voice startling thier thoughts, "is to say each color, not the word, upon the screen. You must speak quickly, for a single, lengthy pause will mean disaster for you. You must relay each color accurately. The wrong answer will also prove disaterous. Choose one from your team to be spokeman for three. If he or she fails, the great abyss awaits your entire group. If he or she passes the challenge, I will not only let you pass behind these walls, but I will give you the secret to life! This is your last chance to turn away."

They all took a deep breath. There was no turning back. But they had to chose a spokesman. The answer seemed obvious, but no one wanted to say it. After a few moments, Jason took a step forward. He looked back and they all nodded in agreement. He faced the screen, and after what seemed like an eternity of silence, he read the sequence. Miss. Jael and Miss. Janet didn't breath, but read along making sure each word was right. The first line, pass. The second, the same. The third, he paused. They thought all would end at that moment, but he recovered quickly. He read the fourth, fith and sixth with what seemed to be great ease, despite the sweat that dripped down his face.

All finally released the air trapped in thier lungs. He had said every color correctly! It was incredible. They wanted to cheer, but the silence was deafening. Threathening even. No one dared speak. And then the unthinkable happened. The stone man fell out of his chair. They started to move towards him, but once again we heard his voice in their heads.

"No, don't. Leave me here. Never before has anyone passed my challenge. I am undone, for even I did not see this coming." He paused for a moment. "Alas, I will tell you the secret to life."

Once again the earth shook, and a second screen lowered from the ceiling.

"The secret to life," came the deep, melodous voice, "is...

...the answer to this equation, will always be five."

The three friends gave each other quizical looks, than tried the problem. They started with four. The answer was five. They tried a higher number. Fourteen. Once again, the answer was five! As incredible as the secret had been, nothing could prepare the trio for the stone man's next surprise. He was so impressed with Jason, he offered him his throne. We looked at the now empty chair and Jason couldn't contain himself. He jumped right in declaring himself the new occupant of...

"The Throne of Love!"

Of course he couldn't remain in the chair forever. One; they feared he too would turn to stone, and two; they still had a mission to complete.

The stone man sang a strange note they'd never heard before, and the wall beind him rose. They said good bye and stepped behind the man and the throne. Beyond those walls, many strange and unusual things befell them.

A pig with seven legs,

and a man who's lip was stuck over his face.
He seemed to have something important to say, but his words came out only as mumbles and sounds. So he disappeared from the mirror his face had been projected on, and revealed this picture.

No one knew what it meant, but they all knew it had to be important. Miss. Jael commited the scene to memory. They thanked the face, and continued on.

Once again, they were met with quite an oddity. A two headed baby skeleton.
They were afraid at first, but shockingly, it began to dance, and in a morbid way, it was kind of cute. Distracted by the tiny dancer, Miss. Jael and Jason were siezed and thrown into prison.

It had been a trap! The skeletons said simultaniously, the only was to free the two prisoners was if Miss. Janet won an Oscar at the Academy Awards. So, since we were already in the area...


...she did!


Once again we were sent on our way, and once again, we were met with another distraction. It wasn't fear, though the emotion was not far behind. It wasn't anticipation, though the feeling was always looming in the air. It wasn't even another attack. No. Miss. Jael fell in love with a man completley made of buttons.

Yep... Buttons. Don't ask. Love knows no boundaries. Time was hard pressed. They all knew the mission was far too important to stop now. After a long, sorrowful good bye, the Button Man gave Miss. Jael a love letter...


And then they once again were off.

The next part of the journey passed quickly and they were met with another guardian of, (what they now suspected was indeed in the area,) the "Real Hollywood Sign."


A giant stone elephant. He greeted the travelers by raising his arms in the air. "Welcome friends," boomed his enormous voice throughout the air around them. With each word, grounds shook and walls melted. "You have passed many challenges, and to have made it this far is quite the achievement, for no man or woman has before you. You are close to what you seek, and as a reward for your endurance, I give you this."

Out of no where, a telescope fell from above and landed in Miss. Janet's hands. She stared for a monent, and then put the object to her left eye. She circled round, but everything was black, until after a few steps, something became clear.

"It's here!" she exclaimed excitedly. She thrust the telescope into Jason's hands, who looked, then in turn, gave it to Miss. Jael. They all began to dance around merrily when they were interrupted by the guardian. "Yes little ones. You are close. You now know the direction, but be alert. One more danger awaits you in your final step towards victory."

They thanked the elephant, and rushed ahead, too excited to head her warning. Jason's long legs carried him ahead of the rest, but they were not far behind. They continued running when they came to a place that was all too familiar to Miss. Jael. "Stop!" She cried. The group haulted. Before their eyes laid the image the Face had shown them earlier.

The three stared in disbelief. "What does it mean?" Asked Miss. Janet.

"I think it means it's close." Answered Miss. Jael.

"Guys," came Jason's voice shakily. "Look up."

Three pairs of eyes trailed above the fountain, up a large set of stairs, and through a passage way that showed exactly what they had been seeking all along.

It didn't take long before the three friends were rushing up the stairs, but in all the excitement, they had completly forgotten the elephant guardian's warning. And if Jason hadn't seen the intruders when he did, the adventure would have eneded right there.

Two of the scariest men appeared, the last and final guardians of the "Real Hollywood Sign."

Slowly the three backed up. They were hideous. They were gruesome. They were standing between them and their prize; the symbol of all they had endured that day. The two girls held up their arms, ready to attack, but it was Jason who'd had enough. It was Jason whose courage rose to an uncontainable level. It was Jason, who in one quick motion...

KARATE KICKED the two villians, knocking them down. They fell out cold! Taking their chance, they ran ahead.

At last, they had made it! They had reached the "Real Hollywood Sign" proving once and for all, it really did exist. They stood together, arms linked, breathing in sweet victory, (and a sigh of relief.) Their troubles were behind them...



...or were they?
The End!

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Hope you enjoyed my recount of our adventure in Hollywood yesterday. Here's some more pictures from the day.



Hollywood BLVD at night. It was so bright, it felt like day.



This picture was in "Ripley's Believe it or not Museum." The drawing it made completely of the words of the entire Gospel of Luke.





Me, Janet and my cousin Jason.





I took this one for Pastor Carl, although I still don't understand why he has a star?

She's one of my favorites.







I love this picture.




And on a completly different note that has nothing to do with Hollywood whatsoever, Janet and I were talking about how you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. Can you guess whose feet are whose?