Yes, I Really Hate Coffee
Do you ever think, “only me?” When something crazy and insane happens, and you’re just like, does this kind of thing happen to anyone else on the planet? I supposed this night has been a consequence of my procrastinating nature, or maybe because I compromised, you can be the judge.
Let me start by saying I HATE COFFEE! Passionately. I don’t drink it for many reasons. 1: It’s addictive and people depend on it. They get head aches if they don’t drink it, they go crazy, they can’t function. I get up just fine in the morning. Whey should I start? I want to depend solely on God. 2: It’s terrible for you. 3: It tastes SOOOOOO bad! 4: It stunts your growth and I’m already short. And 5: I just don’t like it!
I have a history exam tomorrow, which I of course, like always, procrastinated like crazy for studying. I was going to do it this afternoon before work, but left my book at home, so came back after work, had dinner, and started. It was 11pm when I was finally ready to study, and knowing that I wasn’t going to sleep much, when last night I slept only 4 hours, and have been up since 6:30 am, been through church and work, thinking I really probably am not going to make it, I decided to make a cup of coffee. Why not? Maybe it would work.
Let me show you just how foreign coffee is to me. It took me 10 MINUTES to figure out to work the stinkin machine, including how to grind the beans, where to pour the water, how to turn it on, if the lid goes on or off the pot while the coffee’s brewing, and I was feeling SO convicted about even making the dang cup. Then to top it all off, when I finally got it going, the thing went crazy, and not just coffee, but the grains of the beans are spilling out ALL OVER MY COUNTER and on to the floor, and I CAN’T figure out how to make it stop. So I pull out the pot and hold my cup under the filter, (speaking of filter, my cup was FULL of coffee beans with some coffee, not the other way around,) I then put the lid on the pot and tried that and it seemed to make things better untill I lifted the whole machine while it was still going to clean the spilt coffee off the bottom, which resulted in disaster as the hot brew washed over my hand and wrist and oh yeah, coffee’s hot!
After a long struggle, I finally have what looks like a large, decent cup off coffee. I taste and gag of course, so I add A LOT of milk and A LOT of sugar, and guzzle it down, that is after I spilt a bunch of it on my foot, because I think the coffee just didn’t seem to want to stay anywhere tonight.
I finish this REALLY LARGE CUP and go to do my homework. I'm feeling awake. Mission accomplished! I pull out my book, my notes, my pen and some paper. I’m ready! I’m going to be up for hours. I look up the first topic I need to read, and open the book to the Table of Contents, and instead of finding the Chapter Title: Our People, I find; Chapter Title: Reconstruction of the US. Now to you that might not mean anything, but to me it means last semester's history class. They sold me the WRONG BOOK! So, not only do I not get to study and not take the test tomorrow, and beg my teacher for an extension to study, I just drank a WHOLE STINKIN CUP OF COFFEE and now I’m WIDE AWAKE which is the only reason I’m writing this post at 12:30 in the MORNING!!!!
Like I said, only me.
Let me start by saying I HATE COFFEE! Passionately. I don’t drink it for many reasons. 1: It’s addictive and people depend on it. They get head aches if they don’t drink it, they go crazy, they can’t function. I get up just fine in the morning. Whey should I start? I want to depend solely on God. 2: It’s terrible for you. 3: It tastes SOOOOOO bad! 4: It stunts your growth and I’m already short. And 5: I just don’t like it!
I have a history exam tomorrow, which I of course, like always, procrastinated like crazy for studying. I was going to do it this afternoon before work, but left my book at home, so came back after work, had dinner, and started. It was 11pm when I was finally ready to study, and knowing that I wasn’t going to sleep much, when last night I slept only 4 hours, and have been up since 6:30 am, been through church and work, thinking I really probably am not going to make it, I decided to make a cup of coffee. Why not? Maybe it would work.
Let me show you just how foreign coffee is to me. It took me 10 MINUTES to figure out to work the stinkin machine, including how to grind the beans, where to pour the water, how to turn it on, if the lid goes on or off the pot while the coffee’s brewing, and I was feeling SO convicted about even making the dang cup. Then to top it all off, when I finally got it going, the thing went crazy, and not just coffee, but the grains of the beans are spilling out ALL OVER MY COUNTER and on to the floor, and I CAN’T figure out how to make it stop. So I pull out the pot and hold my cup under the filter, (speaking of filter, my cup was FULL of coffee beans with some coffee, not the other way around,) I then put the lid on the pot and tried that and it seemed to make things better untill I lifted the whole machine while it was still going to clean the spilt coffee off the bottom, which resulted in disaster as the hot brew washed over my hand and wrist and oh yeah, coffee’s hot!
After a long struggle, I finally have what looks like a large, decent cup off coffee. I taste and gag of course, so I add A LOT of milk and A LOT of sugar, and guzzle it down, that is after I spilt a bunch of it on my foot, because I think the coffee just didn’t seem to want to stay anywhere tonight.
I finish this REALLY LARGE CUP and go to do my homework. I'm feeling awake. Mission accomplished! I pull out my book, my notes, my pen and some paper. I’m ready! I’m going to be up for hours. I look up the first topic I need to read, and open the book to the Table of Contents, and instead of finding the Chapter Title: Our People, I find; Chapter Title: Reconstruction of the US. Now to you that might not mean anything, but to me it means last semester's history class. They sold me the WRONG BOOK! So, not only do I not get to study and not take the test tomorrow, and beg my teacher for an extension to study, I just drank a WHOLE STINKIN CUP OF COFFEE and now I’m WIDE AWAKE which is the only reason I’m writing this post at 12:30 in the MORNING!!!!
Like I said, only me.
posted by Jael at 12:47 AM
5 Comments:
That is a good, yet sad, story. Hey, at least you got another post out of it! Two in two days...
a)I like my sugar with coffee, cream, and flavored syrups.
b)I'm gonna teach you how to make coffee so this never happens again and...
c)we should stage a revolt against that lame bookstore for causing you such frustration!
aw that stinks friend! if it makes you feel better (dare i mention it?!), but i don't know how to make a cup of coffee. and 2) i had to come home from school today and finish an essay in that was due two hours later!
In answer to your question... No sirree, I ain't quittin' now. Posts might be sporadic, though, as usual...
In regards to this post... it made me laugh. Especially since today was my third day as a barista. I've never been into coffee either, except as a late-nite study aid... Now I actually have learned the difference between an flat skinny latte and an iced triple-shot americano. Bean me up, Scottie...
Well, if it makes you feel any better, these crazy things you have mentioned are NOT crazy. Seriously, it happens all the time.
The other good news... they actually ARE happening only to you. Let me explain...
First, how many people in this world are currently studying history? What, like, a few thousand?
Next, of those few thousand people how many hate coffee? 10?
Finally, how many of those 10 people (including you) would stay awake posting about it all? 1. Only you.
See what I mean? You really are the only one. And that's cool.
By the way, your post about me to my husband's blog was too sweet.
I'm not that great.
I actually manage to screw things up on a regular basis... is it just me, or does everyone feel this way?
Anyway, I am simply thankful that the one true living God who created heaven and earth has been willing to put up with dwelling inside of ME long enough to be a blessing to you.
Here's hoping it stays that way.
I love you.
Jackie O.
Post a Comment
<< Home