An Over-Due Story For You!

Hello Friends,

Yesterday I read through every single post that I've ever written on my blog, and realized, I really used to write stuff. The purity of this blog has slowly dimisnished as of December when I got a digital camera and everything became about pictures. I used to tell stories, mostly about "Bugs" and "Dennys." So I've decided, in an attempt to bring back the essence of "And I Am Gone" I must write a story, and after reading my posts, my favorites were the ones that had something to do with what God was doing in my life. So, here goes...


(Before I do, can I just say that yesterday I was in the computer lab at school, and everytime I turned around, there was this short, dark skinned woman with beedy little eyes staring me down. Even when I left, her eyes followed me, like she was angry at me, or couldn't believe something about me and was disgusted. Well, it's the next day, and I've been sitting here, in the same chair for an hour working on homework, and I get that feeling. You know the one. SOMEONE is watching you. You just know it. I turn my head ever so slightly to the left, and there, in the same chair, is the SAME WOMAN!!! And she's staring, with that same look. I whip my head back around. Too creepy.)

O.K, now here we go...

There's a verse in the Bible that says, "A man without a vision perishes." That has been the verse of my life since interns was over. As an intern, I knew exactly what I wanted to do... EVERYTHING! Seriously, and I thought I could too. Who knows, maybe I still can, but I was told over and over, "pick one thing, pursue it." And I know it's wise, but you have to understand, those words to me are like telling your 5 year old he could never be a fireman, or even Superman if he so chooses. I'm a dreamer, I dream of great things, and I really wanted to do everything, go everywhere, and do something SO big, I'd go down in history like Billy Grahm and Oral Roberts. I could make you a list, but it'd be too long.

Since interns has ended, and school has started, it's all become too much a reality. I really can't just hop on a plane and go be the great evangilist/actress/writter/youth pastor/ect... It's not that it's not possible, maybe, it's that it's innefective. How can I build something if I keep starting a new project???

So, I began to seek wisdom. (Mostly from P. Tami) "What am I going to do?" "I told you a million times Jael, you're a teacher!" (Can you imagine what this did to me?) A teacher!!!??? Not that I have anything against them, but when did a teacher go deep into the amazon and get all those people in cloth saved? When did a teacher star in a great movie? Ect. (this of course was my mindset, not necessarily reality) I could feel a confirmation in my spirit, but it just felt so... stuck. The only things I liked being stuck with are the City Chruch, my best friends, and my family. I have this desperate need for new things. From new jobs, to knew classes, to meeting knew people to this and that and I'm everywhere. But not stuck in a classroom, teaching kids their ABC's EVERY STINKING DAY!!!! How could anyone call me a teacher???

So I've been fighting this notion for almost a year now, going to school aimlessly, knowing that it'll have to lead to something, somewhere, someday.

And then RT 56 happened. Every few Sundays, I am sitting with a bunch of 5th and 6th graders, teaching them the Bible. Hanging out with them during the week, listening to their problems, counciling and pastoring them. Loving them and praying for them. And it hit me, there's nothing I love doing more than just that. Everything I'd been running from is exactly what I'd been doing all along. With the 3-4th grades all year, and then I finally got moved into my niche. I love 5th and 6th grade. Looking back, 6th grade was the most influential time in my life, and my teacher was a huge part of the direction I chose to walk in Jr. High. She was a part of building my character because she saw me as more than just a 6th grader. She saw me as someone who could make a difference. She believed in me. She loved me. She was there for me when my dad died, and to this day she is still the best teacher I've ever had. I could be that woman.

Teaching is not a small thing if you don't treat it that way. And it has so many open doors. I could be a missionary teacher, I could teach at a Christian school, I could homeschool my kids, I could teach in the church. I can do anything with it.

And then the best part. Words of wisdom from Jackie Owens. "Pursue one thing, the gift that God has placed inside of you. Honor it, be faithful with it, and he'll give you the desires of your heart. Maybe one day you'll get to be an extra in a movie. Maybe on the side you'll write. A man plans his ways, the Lord directs his steps."

It's so true. God knows I have big dreams, and I know he has BIG plan for my life. I've felt it since I was a child. But he's given me certain gifts for a reason, and I have to be a good steward of those gifts. And trust him! He knows what's best for me. He knows the plans he has for me. Plans to prosper me, give me a future and a hope. And they're good plans, filled with joy, and life, and a job, a ministry, a husband, children. All those amazing things that we can't just always choose for ourselves, because we would most likely settle. I have to trust that I'm in the right place, that through the Holy Spirits leading, I'm making the right decisions, and Boaz' Field isn't too far away. Who knows, maybe I'm in it now, laboring, and one day God's plan for my life will notice me, and my whole life will change in the most amazing, unbelievable, out of this world, bigger than me possible way. Because every thing God does is just that; amazing, unbelievable, out of this world, bigger than me!