Just a Bit of Silliness Really

If you are in the mood for a little chuckle. The first two are the Australian version of the TV show "Thank God Your Here" and the last one is this super random, short film, with a super random ending, that is pointless, and great. Hope you enjoy.


Josh Lawson

Cal Wilson

Giant Squid

Skeletons in the Closet

Considering the overall timeline of my life, I have a pretty clean record. I mean, I've had my share of mishaps, a tiny black mark here and there, but nothing that if the CIA ever did a background check to recruit me into their agency, would cause them to reject my application. Or if I ever became a senator for the US government, there wouldn't really be any material for blackmail some terrorist or jealous competetor that wanted all my money and position could threaten me with. But, alas this Thanksgiving, a "skeleton" if you will, was pulled out of the deepest, darkest, inner most part of my closet, off a shelf so far back, I didn't even know it existed. Yes, I discovered today, that while one may have done their best all their life to keep their record clean and their lifestyle pure, others can cause just enough shame and embarrasment without their being aware. I sit before my computer, a humiliated authoress.

I have a male cousin my age. We're really close. This wasn't always the case. We ignored each other as children, even teenagers, but as adults, when boys stopped being gross to me, and girls to him, we became good friends.

My aunt, (his mom,) myself, and my cousin were sitting around chatting today, and I don't remember how the conversation came up, but all of the sudden my aunt's talking about Junior High, and that one time I asked my cousin to go to a dance with me.

WHAT???

I NEVER did that. And she goes on about how she wouldn't let him go because he was to young to go on a date, and he was like, yeah, that was really weird. And I'm just looking at them like,

WHAT?

My jaw is dropped, and all I can say is,

"WHAT?"

My aunt finally started to read the deep confusion on my face, and says, "You don't remember this?"

"WHAT?"

Silence.....

When I finally come to from my shock, I dramatically inform them that I never did any such thing. And my aunt replies that there was a middle man communicating for me. Or, I guess you could say, a middle woman. In Jr. High my MOM went behind my back, and tried to set me up with my COUSIN, step cousin, which doesn't really ease the pain, for a dance. WHAT????!!! Are you kidding me? There's my cousin, my good friend, sitting there, thinking for the past 10 years, that I asked him out on a date!

WHAT???

Good bye CIA, good bye US Senator!

After I explained my uninvolvement in this black mark written in invisible ink on my record, I pondered what my poor cousin must think of me, and sensed any disfunction and issues with my mom just went up 15 points.

I am undone.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Christian Pick Up Lines

I found these on facebook. I laughed So hard! I italicized my favorites and made the best one bold.

1. "nice bible."
2. "is this pew taken?"
3. "i just don't feel called to celibacy."
4. "for you i would slay two Goliaths"
5. "i would go through more than Job for you"
6. "you are perfect, except with all the sin."
7. "when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. I promise I will never strike you."
8. "you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you."
9. "what, this here? oh.. thats my study bible - it's a little bigger but i can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight."
10. "shall we tithe?"
11. "at points in my life i have been referred to as Samson"
12. "the word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?"
13. "i didnt believe in predestination until tonight."
15. "i believe one of my ribs belongs to you."
16. "i know Lachlan Payne."
17. (if no.16 gains no response) "Lachlan Payne knows me"
18. "i went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you."
19. "i can be your Boaz."
20. "my spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"
21. "i sacrifice my sunday mornings to look after the creche group. its tough... but i love children."
22. "is this the transfiguration.. because you are glowing"
23. "i have a job."
24. "mark driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory."
26. "im kind of a big deal at Koorong"
27. "hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11..."
28. "absolutely. i often throw clothes into the samaritan bin."29. "bible-gateway happens to be my homepage."
30. "im a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am."
31. "marry me."3
2. "can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?"
33. "i have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation."
34. " im one of the fortunate ones..greek and hebrew comes pretty easily to me."
35. "my favourite species of vegetation is the church plant."
36. "did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?"
37. "what's an xbox?"
38. "now i know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you."
39. "i used to believe in natural theology, but since i met you i've converted to divine revelation"
40. "i look after widows"
41. "is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket"
42. "why dont i have a bible dictionary? well, i dont really need it."
43. "bathsheba had nothing on you"
44. ''you put the 'cute' back in persecution...'
'45. "your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead"
47. "how many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"
48. "how would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?"
49. "if you say no, i will rip out my hair and my beard"
50. "if you say no, im going to tear my clothes, get in my sackcloth and rub dust into my head.."
51. "if you say no, i'm going on a pilgrimage."
52. "unfortunately i cant perform miracles and ive only got enough bread and fish for 2 people."
53. "so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?"
54. "let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.."
55. "lets say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites"
56. "its obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil..."
57. "feel free to meet me at the threshing floor."
58. "you can lie at my feet.."
59. "i know its absurd, but every time i walk towards you, it feels like im being lead to bethlehem."
60. "if i had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas... i would sit at home and read my bible."
61. "i really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt."
62. "welcome to the christian family... the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other"
63. "i did a love tester on your name and mine.. it came back 'predestined'"
64. "you're totally depraved but i'd still like to go out with you..."
66. "i'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman..."
67. "im interested in full time ministry, and not only that... i also play the guitar."
68. "mmm... you really have to watch out for that man of lawlessness.. but dont worry, im not him, so you're safe with me."
69. "if we were around with noah... then you, me... pair."
70. "i arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. coffee?"
71. "i sit with my mum at church"
72. "let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do."
73. "not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, i can change that."
75. "i have a bible verse tattoo. its permanent. its also in ancient greek."
76. "i consider myself to be fisher of women. this would be referred to as "casting my net"."
77. "i'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days"
78. "it would be my honor to present you spotless on the last day."
79." Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix."
80. "when i read philippians 4:8, i think about you."
81. "I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then i would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder"
82. "I prayed up the front at church tonight."
83. "im developing the newest form of singstar: hymns and songs of worship."
84."look, you're nearly 22. most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me."
85. "I come from Egypt... the same place Moses lived."
86. "my general biblical knowledge is quite vast, probably because ive finished bible trivia."
87. "who's your favorite apostle?"
88. "i can name all the groups and people Paul wrote letters to."

The Last 2 Days

Guess what I was for Halloween?


Little Red Riding Hood!


All the people who dressed up in my history class. Second from the left is my teacher. She was a renaissance man. The guy in silver is a beer keg.


I went to a Halloween party and thought this pic was worth sharing. Andrew is Superman after letting himself go. Notice the chunk.


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Today was my Ashleigh's Birthday.



We rode in this:


I had to ride in the front with the driver, (I was the "Limo Chaperon") but it was still pretty awesome.



We went to a place in Temecula called Libby Lues where they do little girl's hair and make up. They get four choices. It was fascinating for me cuz I learned 4 new hair styles to practice. Here are some pictures from that.









And finally we returned to Ashleigh's for Pizza and Cake and presents and Silly String.


The day ended with hearing Pastor Judah preach at GC. All in all, a fantastic day!