The Mutant Returns

I have hit my record of most junk food in one day. In fact, I think I ate more junk food on Sunday than I have this entire year, (so far.) It all started with a chocolate shake at In N Out. (Plus a cheese burger which was the only normal food I consumed). It then slowly progressed into some fries. I then, along with my friend Grace and her two daughters Rachel and Rianne traveled a short distance to that magical land; The Del Mar Fair, where throughout the day we devoured cinnamon rolls, funnel cakes, snow cones and last but not least, cotton candy. You can only imagine the hang over I experience pretty much all the next day, and no vegetable seemed to be able to subdue it. I can only imagine what her two little girls must of been feeling. But Sunday has long since past and I have gotten over the initial shock of a "sugar high" which I have not experienced since I was much smaller and much younger.
As of recent updates, Adventures at Dennys does continue with the ever curious story of one particular regular. I have always found it strange that certain people choose to eat at the same restaurant every day and sometimes night of their lives, most of these customers happen to be of a more elderly age. But this is a story of a woman named Gery. Not too old, but well past her young years. Perhaps late 50's early 60's. She's on the shorter side, even more so than me, and she dies her gray hair red, but it always seems to turn out an orangey color. No, never mind, it's pretty much just flat out orange. She's upbeat, peppy, lively and I believe widowed. She comes and sits with her friend, who also comes in every day, in the same small booth right by the kitchen where she has closer access to the waitresses. I have come to find that this small group of elite regulars seem to call and think of us as family. (Do we advertise that?) Take Ruth for example. A small white haired widow. She just recently lost her husband and she claims the kids at Denny's really keep her going. We're kind of like a church. Hmmm.... Just thought of that.
Anyway, back to Gery. Like I said before, I find it strange enough that people come in every day, sometimes twice a day, (what do they do with the rest of their time?? Maybe they're cheating on us with Starbucks or something) but when you walk into work one day to get your check, and you're greeted with a warm "welcome to Dennys" by a regular in a uniform, well that just blows everything I've ever known out of the water. It's as if time and space has bent it's unusual pattern of travel and some strange wormhole has opened just over W Main St. Ramona, CA 92065. (Though Ramona has always been a strange town, so maybe this isn't a new thing. I mean, where else would you find a cow pulled over by a cop? And I'm not kidding.) I stared at her in disbelief.
"Gery?" I ask.
"Yep, that's me!" She replies cheerfully.
"What are you doing?"
"I got a job."
"Huh?"
"Well I was here one day, and I figured, hey I'm here all the time, might as well make myself useful, and I said, 'Hey Ebbie, want to hire me?' and he said 'Sure, when do you want to start serving?' and I said, 'Serve? Ebbie are you crazy, I'm old. I just want to host,' and here I am."
"O. K then. Congradulations."
"Thanks."
I walk in a way in a state of shock. Never once in the year that I've been here, and come to know these regulars did I ever see this coming. Not that I'm against it, but it's still strange.
On a side note, the mutant insects have returned. Most of you will remember my little Mothra friend I met not too long ago. Well, though I haven't seen him since, his cousin decided to visit me yesterday, only this time, I was the victorious one! Let me explain;
I had just got in the shower when out of the corner of my eye I see a large shadow crawling up the curtain. I turn, and yes it is a shadow because whatever it is, is hiding on the other side. I make out 8 legs and a big round lump in the center with two antenna like stems coming out of it's head and two little circles planted awkwardly at the top of each. It slowly makes it's way up the curtain as I quickly jump out of the tub. (You all remember the seen from psyco right?) The shadow did not disguise its' size, and I find myself thinking upon Mr. Mutant Moth Man and wondering, why me? Is every large and unusual insect out to get me in this town?
I begin searching for something to capture this newfound enemy, but the only object that could possibly offer me any effective results happened to be the cap to my shaving cream. Of course that means once again moving the curtain that the Spider just happened to be no longer crawling on, but now stopped still, aware of my presence. As my hand made contact with sheet, my mouth let out a mini shriek. I grabbed the cap and then jumped back. I slowly move forward until I am face to face with the creature. It's a showdown for sure. He knows what's coming and I am fearing for my life. The cap is small and if I am not quick enough, he could jump right out onto my hand and sink those big, venomous teeth into my exposed epidermis. (That means skin incase you were wondering.) I carefully lift the toilet seat, never once taking my eyes off my enemy as he too offers me the same venture. In the words of Peter Pan, "It's me or him this time!"
For a moment, a courage rises inside of me. A fierceness I have never known. I've got the cap in my hand, focus in my eyes, and hope in my heart. But as my hand darts for the villainous fiend, all that once was courage in me shatters in the wind as I see the spider's creepy legs reaching for the top. I scream and proceed to throw the cap into the toilet along with its' captive. I quickly grab the cap, flush and throw down the lid not even willing to watch my enemy sink into the sewers of this city. I take a deep breath of recovery and it dawns on me. I AM VICTORIOUS!!! I HAVE WON THE BATTLE! What mutinous insect will mess with me now??!!!! I welcome the challenge!!!! I won't be the woman that has to call her husband to squash every bug, because I am strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus! (But if you’re currently having any insect problems, don’t call me. Why deal with it if you don’t have to ;)